Turning the Page to Truth

1. Spiritually abusive leaders twist the truth to make themselves look better, and you end up questioning if you heard them correctly or were misinterpreting something.
2. Spiritually abusive leaders demand respect instead of earning it.
3. Spiritually abusive leaders betray your confidence and share your information with others.
4. Spiritually abusive leaders say you need to give up your free time for Jesus' sake and shame you if you don't agree.
5. Spiritually abusive leaders don’t allow themselves to be held accountable or corrected, and bully anyone who disagrees.
6. Spiritually abusive leaders avoid your request for conflict resolution but are quick to confront you. If you try to bring up things they are twisting, you are seen as unteachable or misguided.
7. Spiritually abusive leaders make you feel you can’t change churches or you’ll miss what God has for you.
8. Spiritually abusive leaders demand their way over your free will and scare you with threats to your reputation if you don’t comply, or shame you by bringing up your past failures.
9. Spiritually abusive leaders demand to be served instead of serving.
10. Spiritually abusive leaders silence their critics by making them the bad guys.
11. Spiritually abusive leaders don’t give you credit for your ideas and successes but take the credit for themselves.
12. Spiritually abusive leaders bully, shame, or tease you into breaking your communicated boundaries.
13. Spiritually abusive leaders dismiss you when you no longer serve their needs.
14. Spiritually abusive leaders accuse you of stealing their message when you grow beyond them, or they downplay what you did as if they had already accomplished that.
15. Spiritually abusive leaders gaslight you into thinking you are crazy.
16. Spiritually abusive leaders can’t admit fault but use the knowledge of others' faults to cause fear and intimidation.
17. Spiritually abusive leaders have their minions do their dirty work and isolate, intimidate, and manipulate those who don’t comply.
18. Spiritually abusive leaders surround themselves with the elite and don’t interact with the sheep.
19. Spiritually abusive leaders use their charisma to create a cult-like following that would defend them when they are questioned.
20. Spiritually abusive leaders create a culture of a popular inner circle. If someone raises a concern they are put out of the clique and other inner circle people are afraid to speak up.
21. Spiritually abusive leaders surround themselves with only people who praise them, fear them, or submit to them.
22. Spiritually abusive leaders convince people they can’t understand the deep things of God and need their help.
23. Spiritually abusive leaders don't help you overcome sin in your life but discard you if you make them look like bad leaders.
24. Spiritually abusive “leaders and churches view those who bring up legitimate issues as enemies. Those who were once friends/allies swiftly become enemies once a concern is raised. Sometimes these folks are banished, told to be silent, or shamed into submission.” Mary DeMuth
25. Spiritually abusive leaders lie without a conscience. They see their platform as worth protecting for the sake of the gospel.

Adapted from Jill Monaco